In the most challenging times in life… sometimes we just need to lean in and go with the flow.
Most recently, I had to let go… let go of the old. Throughout this time, I have said over and over… “sometimes we need to die to be reborn”…
This was meant metaphorically, and like the phoenix rising out of the dark to the light, I too had to dig deep to begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I went through four months of living hell… of what I wouldn’t wish on anyone… As a matter of fact, a sweet sensitive soul said to me what you are going through I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. Ironic… because I literally was uttering those same exact words to others…
It was actually longer than four months… the full cycle began with the Scorpio full moon lunar eclipse of Nov 8th 2022 until the full moon lunar eclipse of May 6th 2023. You can say it was “written in the stars”. In fact, a gifted astrologer had said to me that it literally was in my chart. A deep purge. New identity. This was a whirlwind of changes, of challenges, of recommitting to spiritual guidance and having faith.
Whether I liked it or not, it was part of my path. It was part of my transformation. It is part of my future. The future me.
It is true on a wing and a prayer with support of loved ones, I got through the six month journey. This was not a time of physical challenges, but fighting off the dark from outside forces with my own inner magic wand of light. It was a battle and at times when I felt I couldn’t go on, I had my cheerleaders encouraging me to keep going. You got this… I cried a lot during this time… deep down gut wrenching weeping on my hands and knees. Praying to god and my departed loved ones to help guide me from the other side to give me strength.
As a healer we often get to experience more than others. Why? One reason is so that we can teach and lead others. Throughout this journey… I vowed… I would help others. I would guide… I would teach… I would protect… I will do workshops on this topic… I will become the voice for others. I will help others fight the outside forces of the dark… so the light can win.
One of the hardest things in life can be to trust and let go. I had to lean into the flow. It was a time of deep isolation, reflection, redirection, rebranding, reinventing of my self and my world.
Releasing attachments to the old. Clean slate…. Starting anew.
Here I am… after much time healing…. I continue to breath in that everything that happens in the end will be for my highest good. I am moving onward now to the next chapter of my life.
May many of you join me there.
I welcome you…
© 5/15/23 Merrill Black, LCSW